as i read my posts from two or more years ago...

i realize how much i have degraded mentally. it's depressing to see how smart and strong of a thinker i was.

now I'm lazy. I'm weak-minded. Sure, I still have my stubbornness, and I'm a free thinker. but i'm lazy. pathetically so.

and it sickens me to even look at myself. When did I get so bogged down by the world? When did I get so irresponsible? When did I lose my conviction? When did I stop thinking? When did I stop caring about learning and knowledge? When did this apathy set in?

I don't want to be this weak. I don't want to be this way. I want to be strong.

When did I lose myself?