My Offensive and Unnecessary Rant That You Should Really Think About

I'm going to operate under a few assumptions here: I'm going to assume that if you're reading this, there's a high likelihood that you know me. You're also very likely to be LDS, or at least Christian. If not, please read anyway, because what I'm about to say is still relevant to you as well.

I want to talk about the movie American Sniper, but I also want to talk about a broader concept than that. Let's talk really frankly about the movies that we watch and what we believe they are meant to "do" versus what they actually do.
First off, the movie American Sniper. It has been very highly acclaimed all across the nation. I'm sure you or one of your friends has seen it and loved it. It inspires patriotism, it helps us understand what our soldiers go through, it honors their sacrifice, it honors a true American hero, Chris Kyle.
It also contains more than 200 swear words, 100 alone being the f word. It contains gratuitous and graphic violence, and it contains somewhat mild sexual content.
Many of those good things I listed are true about this film, which is why many LDS members who have been raised their whole lives to avoid R rated films are now dusting off their "well, there's no specific guideline on ratings..." excuses to watch this film. We bring up films like The King's Speech, which was an inspiring film with "just one scene of language that was relevant to the story line." We might bring up The Last Samurai, which featured little foul language, no sexual content, and the violence wasn't even very graphic. We may even go so far as to remind the world that if the Book of Mormon were a movie, it would be rated R for sure due to its graphic content, particularly in the 9th chapter of Moroni as well as all throughout the books of Alma and Ether. So, we then feel completely justified in going to see a movie such as American Sniper, because its message outweighs its content. A logical conclusion. But one that I submit is entirely misguided and just wrong.
I'm not going to pretend that I've never seen an R rated film. Over the last six months of my life, I've watched at least half a dozen of them, willingly and knowingly. I even have a blog on here from about a month ago where I reviewed an R rated film and talked about how I learned a big lesson from it and it related to my life. The message outweighed the content, naturally.
This notion, though appealing, is just plain wrong.
I can't sit back and pretend that it didn't affect me. I would be failing if I didn't tell everyone I could that it hurt my soul to watch. I became desensitized in the scariest of ways. Suddenly language didn't bother me, and I found myself swearing for the first time in probably 15 years. I even slipped around my roommates at college, people who have been good examples to me ever since I met them. Suddenly, I lost my desire to keep commandments, to go to church, and I found myself caught in the scary position of having a growing disdain for the church and the gospel. These things affect us, whether we accept and admit it or not. We cannot continue to justify our sins and call evil things good and seriously expect to be becoming like Christ.
So, what do we believe movies are supposed to "do"? You may find yourself at this point saying things like "but the movie is just accurately portraying what the war is like. How can we properly understand and honor our soldiers if we don't know what they went through? It's just being realistic, it has a purpose." We believe that movies are how we learn our morals, and that it has to be "real" and "true" in order to get that message across. That is true, and an honorable goal. In our scriptures, a man named Mormon found himself in a similar situation at the end of his life and the end of the Book of Mormon when he was in a war that involved both sides committing such awful atrocities as rape, murder, cannibalism, and shameless torture of women and children. God put these things in the Book of Mormon, and no movie is that bad, right? Yes, it's true that there are some terrible things written in there. However, out of 460+ pages, how many verses describe these types of violent acts? 12. There are others that reference to the fact that many die, that people are killed, but none are descriptive in this way. The rest are easily PG-13 material, PG if done tastefully. And what does Mormon say to his son right afterwards? "And now, my son, I dwell no longer upon this horrible scene." (Moroni 9:20). He doesn't want to dwell on this, because it's, well, horrible. He understands that he's made his point and can move on from it. Also, Mormon doesn't attempt to share all of what's happening, he understands that this small glimpse is enough to make his point without offending God. He says it himself in verse 19, that he won't write all of what's going down, it's just not right. And what does he say to Moroni instead? 

"My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever. And may the grace of God the Father, whose throne is high in the heavens, and our Lord Jesus Christ, who sitteth on the right hand of his power, until all things shall become subject unto him, be, and abide with you forever." (Moroni 9:25-26). 

Does this sound like the kind of man who would enjoy watching American Sniper? How about the Last Samurai? How about most recent Hobbit Film, a PG-13 film true, but one that is almost entirely violence and bloodshed over something as trivial as gold? Mormon would walk out in tears. Just because these things are real doesn't mean we need to see them to understand them. I refuse to believe that Mormon, let alone our Savior Jesus Christ, would sit through a movie that features gratuitous violence, contains more than 100 F-words alone, as well as more than 100 other foul words, and involves sexual scenes to top it off. Too many people are going to see this movie, and I am confident that the screenings are a place where Christ will not go. If you go to see it, I hate to say it, but you're going without Him. 

I hope this doesn't come off as preachy or pretentious. It probably does. I'm sorry about that, but I feel duty-bound to share what I've learned from my recent failings. Remember this: I have seen many, many films and tv shows in my life that I regret. Recently. But this is my biggest reason to change: I cannot keep a righteous lifestyle watching these things and accepting them as okay. Satan has power over me and I fall to temptation far too easily. I can't stress this enough. The Holy Ghost can't help me when I refuse to invite it into my life. And there is no way that I am unique in this aspect. Please, consider the kinds of things you're letting into your life. It really isn't about the content in the end, though that can affect you painfully. It's about the attitude that we can somehow watch these kinds of things and still feel the Spirit. If we take the Spirit's guidance and presence that lightly, then we will lose it and not even realize it. And then when we lose the very light that keeps us from making poor choices, what kinds of things do you think you're going to stumble into? 

-Cody

"For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil. And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?" 

(1 Peter 3:10-13)

An Ode to Having Loved and Lost

Why is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Joel and Clementine both explore this question in the 2004 film “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” as they, following their painful breakup, undergo a procedure to have the relationship as well as any memory of the other person erased from their memories. The movie focuses on Joel as his memories are being erased and he, as he's losing her, realizes that he doesn't want to. Even if the memories bring pain, he doesn't want to lose them. He tries desperately to save the memories, to keep hold of Clementine, and eventually realizes that he doesn't care if he loses her all over again, he simply doesn't want to forget.

So the question. Why is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Is it better? For those who haven't seen the movie, I'm going to spoil the ending. Joel wakes up the next morning after the procedure, not remembering Clementine at all. He skips work and meets her at the beach, which was the opening scene of the film. They, after having spent just a few days together, receive tapes in the mail telling them of the operation and of their past love life. The film ends as Clementine, confused and overwhelmed, walks away from Joel yet again. He chases after her, determined to do something different this time around, and when she says “I'll get bored with you and I'll feel trapped because that's what happens with me!”, Joel looks at her and says simply: “Okay.” He realized that, despite whatever pain may come in the end, to have loved is worth it. He may lose her, but he won't forget her this time. He doesn't want to lose something that means so much to him.

I have explored this question on my own recently as I too have loved and lost. My story is not a new one. It's nothing unique. I loved a girl, we were planning a future together, but in the end it just didn't work out like we were hoping. At times I wonder if it would be easier to go back and stop myself from ever asking her out in the first place. I've tried to trace back to the exact moment that things went wrong, and stop myself from going any further. So the question here is the same: was it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

Yes.

Yes it was. Even though I've spent countless hours being angry, being sad, feeling lost, wishing I could move on but just trying to re-create what we had before, feeling completely frustrated and hurt and wanting to forget, I still am glad that, above all else, I know that I can love. I can be selfless. I can put someone else's happiness first. I can plan for the future and be confident in that. I got a glimpse of me being my best self for someone. Not the fake cover we put up so people like us, the real me trying my hardest to be great for someone else.

We didn't have too many, but we did have some sweet times. There are days that I wouldn't erase for anything, because they remind me that, however it ended, love is possible. I'll always remember dancing to a cover band play Neil Diamond. I'll never forget going for a walk in the park after a long week of being apart. Or the time I walked through all that snow just to give her a blessing when she was stressed out from all her school work. Or that one time that we sat at the MC and kept talking, neither of us wanting to leave because there was no one else we wanted to be with. Or, the one I hold closest, the time that we danced to Michael Buble's “Everything” and it was so, so great. I felt confident with my dancing for the first time ever. And at the end, when I dipped her, she leaned up and kissed me. I consider that the sweetest moment of our relationship. I wouldn't lose those memories for anything.

Those memories tell me that love is possible. They tell me that it was worth it. All I can do now of course is just hold on to those good times, forgive and let go of the hurt, and move forward with the assurance that love is possible again.

I've loved. I've lost. And I will love again.  

Life in Fast-Forward

I found myself not in a hurry for the first time in a long time, so I wanted to sit down and talk about what I've learned in the past year.

So, some brief back story before I jump into the lessons and whatnot. 

I began this year, 2014, as a young man recently returned from an LDS mission beginning his freshman year of college at an institution that is 90% LDS. Living the dream. Perfect situation, you'd say if you're LDS. Well, it was for me at first, but eventually the discontent settled in.

More on that later.

I began my semester in January looking for one thing: to move forward with my life the way I knew I was supposed to. "supposed to". And I was going to get going on that as soon as I could. I tried hard to fit right into my church congregation, to do good in my classes and figure out right away what I wanted to study in school. I was on track and I was kicking trash.

Then I met a girl.

It's always a girl.

Emily, her name was Emily.

One of my goals was also to get married, sooner rather than later. So you best believe I got right on it. I dated her hardcore, I was the best gentleman you could find, I said yes to all of her ideas, I brought her gifts and wrote her songs and woo'ed her to the best of my abilities. Within 2 months we were talking about marriage. Within 3 months we were engaged. I threw a lot of time, effort, and money into this relationship and into this girl, and I was certain I had her hook, line, and sinker. Still, I couldn't shake this uncertainty in my gut that maybe it wasn't going to pan out, maybe it all was a little too quick to be real. I didn't pay it any mind, though, because it fit so perfectly into my plans for my life. 

To be truthful, I do believe that I loved her. I did. She was beautiful. She taught me how to dance, she taught me that girls can have integrity and you don't have to worry about all of them (there's a back story about a girl I dated for 3 years in high school who, once I broke up with her, became someone else COMPLETELY and basically scarred me for a while). She taught me to put school work first and be disciplined too. She was a well rounded girl, talented, quiet, and cute as a kitten. 

Well, kittens grow up and semesters end, and we found ourselves going our separate ways for summer/fall break. I ended up in Arizona working at an Inn by the Grand Canyon, and she went home to California. I spent a week with her and her family at the beach before going to work, and it was there that I felt the biggest resistance. We both felt that it wasn't right, we just weren't meshing, but we were engaged and had committed to this, so you can't call that off, right? 

We stuck it out for a long time, but I'm sure you can tell by the tone of this blog that it didn't pan out. Eventually, about a month before the wedding, Emily called me up and basically said she couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't keep saying she had feelings she didn't. She couldn't keep fighting with me, couldn't keep pretending we were a great match when we weren't. It hurt like hell, but I had to grudgingly agree that she was right. So that was it. 

I haven't really heard from her since. Sure, we talked here and there to work out kinks in the cancelling of plans, flights, etc. Once that was all straight, though, I haven't heard a peep coming from her side of the world. I think if I dropped off the face of the earth, she probably wouldn't notice or care much. 

I don't say this to be bitter (though, admittedly, I was for a while). I just want to make one thing abundantly clear: we rushed this all way too much. We both knew that marriage was the next thing on our agendas, and we conveniently fit that requirement for each other. We had similar interests, we got along fine, and we rushed right into getting engaged before we even had stopped to examine our real feelings or whether or not we were even compatible. By the time we noticed problems, we had gotten too far into it to back out easily. We weren't even that great of friends, as evidenced by how easy it was to completely stop being a part of her life. Within a month she was, as far as I can tell, back to normal. I had made my mark, barely, and it was erased like so many second-guessed answers on a bubble sheet in the testing center.

My struggle was different. I rushed into this and put all my eggs in that one basket. I planned my life around that girl. Since then, I've been defining and re-defining and, frankly, guessing at who I think I am and what I think I want with my life. It's been a long and rough few months since all this went down, and I still don't have answers. But I'm managing to move on, one day and one step at a time. For real, each day I try to take a step away from the past and a step towards what I want to do with my life. 

So here's the lesson, the "tl;dr" for those who want it: please, please slow down with life. It's totally okay to not know where you're going, it's completely fine to not fit the image that your peers have set for you, it's completely normal to not know what you want out of life and to be looking. As long as you're moving and not sitting, that's what matters. 

Please, keep moving forward. 

Just don't catch yourself moving in fast-forward. 

Hopefully that was something that you needed to hear today. 

Cheers!

Cody

This week's Chuck...

I have to admit, I had high hopes for this episode of Chuck. Really high hopes. It looked like a promising storyline, with Sarah's old friends and Morgan/Alex relationship problems, I thought it might have something to offer.

It was awful.

I'm serious, I could barely stand to finish watching it. The whole thing was based around the premise of Sarah's old team called "C.A.T.S." (can't you just see all the possible AWFUL jokes, euphemisms, etc that can come out of that?). One of the worst parts was when they were introduced (the team), and they all said, you guessed it, "Meeeyow!" in the a-typical "sexy tigress" sort of way. It escalated with the dozens upon dozens of "Kitty kitty" jokes, as well as plenty of lame lines like "the CATS are back". There was absolutely nothing redeeming about this script in the least bit. The traitor was predictable (there's no way the one who's originally blamed could be it, the returning cast member has to be innocent, that leaves one obvious person), the traps were unsurprising, the always-awful lines delivered by General Beckman, etc. I threaten again: I may seriously consider not watching this show again. I'm hoping something very very good will come out of the season finale, but I'm not crossing my fingers anymore.

As a side note, I was pleased with the backstory of Morgan finally saying "I Love You" to Alex in order to save their relationship. Everything about that was nice, and it was also different. Sure it was predictable, but you can get away with that in romance.

My final verdict is this: Chuck's first two seasons were the bomb. Serious awesomeness. Season three was very good in my opinion, but slightly more scattered than the first two. This new season is no longer about the intersect, and barely about the CIA. It is now a comedy/drama about Chuck and Sarah's relationship and relationships with others that happens to involve CIA missions and the occasional flash from Chuck when necessary. Downhill faster than Calvin and Hobbes talking Philosopy.

-Cody

I just

heard a song by a band called Switchfoot. After a show in Florida (i think?), Jon Foreman (the lead singer) went out to the parking lot and sang a few songs to a whoever wanted to listen. One of the songs he sang was called Against the Voices.

This song, when I heard it, was very touching to me. It talks all about how there are voices in your head, voices all around, that are trying to convince us to be someone else. They constantly beat at us, from when we wake up, to when we hit the road, everywhere.

He goes on to say that they're not singing, they're just talking, so let them keep talking to themselves.

The chorus is the most poignant part to me, though. He says "Everybody knows the hardest war to fight is the fight to be yourself when the world tries to turn you into someone else."

I would definitely recommend anyone who reads this goes and listens to the song. I'll even give you a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNQvbJN1jIs

I hope you enjoy it, and I hope it touches you the same way it touched me.

-Cody

"Guys..."

"Guys, we need a mission."

This was the line uttered by Sarah Walker in the latest episode of Chuck just before the opening credits began. It was at this point I became afraid that this episode could be one big filler-filled bag of cliches.

I am, however, glad to report that I was wrong. While the episode had its fair share of bad cliche moments and obnoxious predictability, it was quite pleasant and enjoyable to watch. There was an interesting back story about General Beckman, whom we haven't heard much about history-wise until now. There was the return of a previous character, whom had a large and quite interesting role in this episode.

I have to say, however, that there was one line that is absolutely inexcusable. While facing the possibility of a certain-death mission for Roan (which would involve seducing a female and double crossing her a second time in so many days), Chuck and Sarah protest. They say that it is impossible, and Chuck utters the horrid line, "seduction impossible". This cannot be excused. It is atrocious.

Aside from that (and the always obnoxious "it's a suicide mission" that turns out to be a piece of cake), this episode wasn't bad. There were a few touching moments between Ellie and her mom, Casey tried his hand at seducing a woman (and failed humorously, I might add), Chuck and Sarah talk over some serious relationship issues instead of some petty fight, and they set us up for some very interesting (potentially) plot developments with Sarah's family. I'm hoping now that the writers killed the Volkoff story quickly because it was dragging, and are now moving past that with some better plots and story arcs. Here's hopin'

-Cody

Christina Aguilera

I know everyone else is in a big uproar about this whole thing, so I decided to add my voice to the fray.

First off, she sang the song well, and accurately. She forgot a single line, but sang through it anyway DESPITE obviously knowing she messed up. So what's everyone making such a big deal out of? Like you haven't forgotten something before? There are actually people with the audacity to call her unpatriotic and disrespectful for "forgetting a song that I've known the words to since I was 5". and "She's so unpatriotic, she couldn't take the time to learn the words to a song".

WHAT?

What's wrong with forgetting? She sang in front of millions upon millions of people. The single biggest televised event like, EVER. She has every right in the world to be nervous and forget things. It's completely unfair of people to accuse her so viciously and hatefully because of a simple mistake.
I went on stage one time to sing the song Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. EVERYONE has heard that song and knows that song. EVERYONE knows the first verse to it. including me. and I forgot it. I went up to the mike and forgot what I was supposed to sing.

my point is, it's very very easy to forget a song you take for granted you know. It's also easy to just plain forget stuff. It frickin happens.


For fear of becoming another Chris Crocker, I won't plead for anyone to "Leave Christina Alone", but seriously? Just think about it slowly and rationally before you open your mouth and let something stupid spill out of it. The world will be a better place if you do.

Thank you

-Cody